Motivation

i know. 2 posts. 1 day. but i want to keep them organized. Hahaha...me organized. you should be warned i am a bit scattered, not so much organized and give my own unique meaning to digress and tangent. some have compared my thought patterns to that of a sprinkler system; but hey i figure as long as i circle back and get it all covered!

its been established that i am getting married on June 25, 2011. for those who have planned or are planning a wedding you understand my challenges, joys, woes and motivation. i would not consider motivation to be one of my close personal friends so when i find myself particularly focused on a goal it gets my attention. in the spring of '06 i was told by my AA sponsor that i needed to do 90 meetings in 90 days. i said it was impossible with a 4 month old baby in a brand new town with no babysitter, but found a mysterious motivation that pushed me toward meeting that goal. i think back to that experience and know that there were day to day struggles within the challenge but i also know that what i remember is the feeling of accomplishment. the lessons taken from that experience, the knowledge imparted, the friendships made and the mending of my personal relationship with God are the results of following that mysterious motivation.

i have encountered a new mysterious motivation, also surrounding a 90 day experience. first you should know, i don't like exercise. i like to swim, walk and explore nature but have never found day-to-day workouts to be appealing. i know. call me crazy! but then someone close to me asked me, "so are you gonna do a crash diet for the wedding, or just be yourself?". i kept coming back to this question, wondering what it means to show up to your wedding as 'just yourself'. am i the number on the scale, the size of my dress or the breadth of my hips? how much of who i am is what i look like? i don't know.

what i do know is that although i am not a fan of sweatin' to the oldies, i am a fan of being healthy and have been searching for a push, for just a sliver of motivation. Since going on the Biggest Loser before the wedding is not an option, i have found another challenge: P90X (disclaimer: i did not think of this on my own and will probably not be a fan). my mind tells me its impossible, my body screams 'you are crazy!' but there is something deeper that is whispering to my heart, 'why not give it a shot?'.

so people this is what we will be working through, P90X. its not a program designed for me, but i am willing to put myself out there and try. my goal is to make this blog a reality and actually become the...

Incredible Shrinking Bride